When I saw the Fall 2009 shoes Alexander McQueen sent down the runway, I immediately cringed. Not because they were ugly, quite the contrary, they were extraordinary. But the platform heels were so high, I was afraid the models were going to fall to their doom. Who on earth could outdo McQueen's outrageous towering heels? Alexander McQueen, of course! His Spring 2o1o collection featured the much talked-about ankle boots that, to me, look like ballet pointes on steroids. Appropriately named "The Armadillo", these shoes seem like quite the feat to wear. I literally held my breath while watching the models strut down the runway as they mentally coached themselves "please don't fall. please don't fall. please don't fall."
It seems as though platforms are only getting higher and higher and this vertically-inclined trend can be seen in Balenciaga's, Christian Siriano's, John Gallioano's, and Versace's collections this year. Honorable mention goes out to Nina Ricci. In the Fall 2009 collection, the shoes literally seem to defy gravity as the platforms lift you up several inches.
Let's go back to reality for just one second. Who is actually going to wear these shoes? Yes, they may be cool to look at. We can appreciate the artistic risk and admire the engineering accomplishment of creating a shoe with half a foot of platform without an effective heel. But if they are not wearable, if you would fear for your well-being every time you put them on, what is the point? I personally would not risk breaking bones for fashion (yes, i would). Lady Gaga donned the McQueen Armadillos in her "Bad Romance" video, but she doesn't actually count as a real person.
For all of you dare-devils out there that would actually wear these ridiculous yet fabulous shoes, you have my blessing. Just please don't fall.
Alexander McQueen Fall 2009
Nina Ricci Fall 2009