Basso and Brooke - If you look at this collection for longer than 15 seconds, you start to get nauseous. Way too many busy prints with no relief on your eyes. It just keeps going; one nauseating print after another.
Burberry Prorsum - It doesn't get any more London than Burberry. The clothes are very tailored, very polished and very safe. The white coat at the end is totally fab. Overall, as a cohesive collection, it doesn't exactly make me feel euphoric, but it doesn't hurt my eyes either.
Christopher Kane - Lace, leather and embroidered flowers. Already sound like overkill? Yeah, he almost made it work. I see what he was trying to do, but the final product was tacky. The shoes were hot, though. E for Effort?
House of Holland - The designer, Henry Holland, is 26 years old, though his clothes look like a 6 year old designed them. Trashy is an understatement.
Jonathan Saunders - I'm running out of synonyms for boring and ugly.
Julien Macdonald - I have to say, I quite liked this collection. Lace and lingerie-like garments are everywhere this season and I feel like he really did it right. It was sexy without being trashy. There was a lot of variety in this collection, too, from leg-baring dresses to casual separates (I especially loved the over-sized sweaters).
Mark Fast - Mr. Fast caused quite the raucous when he sent *gasp* plus-sized models down the runway. But let's be honest, these clothes don't look good on the thin or the curvy models.
Mary Katrantzou - There was one dress that I didn't hate. The juxtaposition of colorful prints with black and white stripes was clever, but the rest of the dresses were tragic. I don't believe that symmetry is necessary for a beautiful garment, but these pieces are just unsightly. Excuse me, Miss, is that a tumor growing out of your dress?
Matthew Williamson - Usually, his collection is the only London show I look forward to (besides Christopher Kane) and although it wasn't terrible, it definitely was underwhelming. Nothing inspiring.
Mulberry - Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.
Paul Smith - Double Yaaaaaaaawn.
Pringle of Scotland - Painfully ugly. Drab. And the models look like they hate their life. Wouldn't you if you were wearing such awful clothes?
Viviene Westwood Red Label - The show started off with what I'm going to call "Old School London Punk meets Hot Homeless Mess" and finished with a few looks that were actually quite fabulous. And what is with the styling? The hair and make-up only made the homeless theme more prominent. Sigh...Well, considering there were 54 looks, some of which I really liked, I'd say it wasn't a total disaster.